I don't know why it came as such a shock, but it HURTS to have abdominal surgery. Especially when the point of that surgery is to remodel the digestive tract. It's deceptive because all I have to show on the outside is six little puncture wounds scattered across my abdomen. All the pain is internal, and it is um... painful.
I woke up in the PACU at about 9pm Tuesday night thoroughly confused about where I was, what had happened, and why I was in so much pain. I had an NG tube, a Foley, 2 JP drains, venodynes, an IV running at 200/hr., O2, and the usual array of monitors attached to me, and as it slowly dawned on me what had happened, all I could think was that something had gone terribly wrong. The nurses kept yelling at me to take deep breaths, and after the third time they yelled, I wanted to yell back. LT was there. She had been on the phone all evening making arrangements for the care of the kid and the dog because she hadn't planned on being at the hospital for so long. She left at about 2am when it was time to take me up to my room. The minute I rolled through the door I wanted (needed!) to get out of bed, and the nice 12 year old nurse helped me up to a chair. Bless that child. My poor spasming back couldn't possibly have managed to lay down for one more minute.
The next couple of days are blurry, but I've been home since Thursday, and with each day the regret I felt upon waking up in the PACU has diminished. I've lost 10 pounds so far. In one week. I have not felt hungry in the least bit, but oh, how I have wanted to eat! I've been dreaming about food, planning ahead to when I can eat anything besides protein shakes (another 2 weeks!), and obsessing about what LT and Kidlet are eating. Yeah. Just 'cuz the junkie is on the wagon doesn't mean she's not still a junkie. Quite the voyage of self-discovery I'm having over here!
LT and kidlet have just left to take the dog to the vet, so I have the house to myself. I'm going to take advantage of the empty house and take a long shower, then maybe a little nap before I have to choke down another protein smoothie.