Budding Sociopath?

(Why doesn't anyone update this damn blog for me? God, do I have to do everything around here?)

I fired someone today. For the first time, ever. I figured it would happen eventually, and that I would feel badly about it. But I didn't feel badly about it. Not at all. It was oddly... satisfying. I was so tired of her continued incompetence and her refusal to rise to the standards that have been set by people way smarter and more important than me. She beat me down. I had no less than 4 formal "your performance sucks, here's the data that tells me that, so go fucking FIX IT!" conferences with this chick, and each time she cried, and told my boss that it was all my fault (boss lady didn't buy it either) and blamed the fact that her husband is in jail (um... which he was when they met... through one of those creepy websites...), and her kid is 15 and having sex (um... surprise? She was conceived during a conjugal visit, her mother is a 400 pound whacko and her father is a... person who has to spend the rest of his life in prison), and her mother is demented, and "oh, boo hoo, life is so stressful", for the fact that she takes 90 minute lunches and comes in late and leaves early and does shitty work and screws up the same things over and over and over again and it's just... intolerable to me. I warned her. Repeatedly. She didn't listen. And today I finally amassed the missing nail to seal her coffin when I caught her in an outright lie. So, I walked down to Boss Lady's office, where I announced that it was time to say goodbye to the slacker. And then we dropped the hammer. There was crying, and pleas for us to reconsider. Then there was the packing of the belongings and the walk of shame. And when it was all done, I was nothing but relieved. Boss lady kids me that she's turning me into a sociopath just like her.

Honestly people, believe me when I tell you that insurance case management is not rocket science. Is the old person old and/or impaired enough that they would be harmed if the care they are receiving were not available to them? Check this box: Yes or No. Document your findings. Substantiate your decision. The End.

So. Not to change the subject, but this is my blog and if nobody else is going to update it for me, I can write whatever I damn well want.

I'm about to finish up the first class toward my MBA. What am I? Insane!? A glutton for punishment!? I dunno. It just seems like the thing to do. Considering the person I just fired is a Ph.D. candidate (Yes! Seriously!), I know that education has very little to do with skill, but if I'm going to be managing people, I think I should maybe know something about management and business and... stuff, so... It's costing me an arm and a leg, but I'm doing it online, and it will take about a year and a half, so why the heck not? I don't NEED to see my family, or SPEND TIME with them... LT and I communiate mostly via text messages these days anyway, and family dinners are a thing of the past, so what the heck? As long as I'm home early enough for my nightly Yoga with kidlet (she's so cute! "I'm bein' a tree, Mama!"), it's all O.K.

Also, LT has a cool new job that she's been working toward for the last few years. She's giving up her per diem job in the gero-psych unit at the hospital to become the Director of Nursing at a little Alzheimer's center located not quite 2 miles from our house. Plus, they're going to pay her MORE than the per diem job, and she won't have to work weekends or wear ugly shoes, and she'll even have some vacation time. Won't that be nice? Just in time for us to not to be able to take a vacation this year because of this crazy school thing.

Whatever, I'm making her buy me a BMW when I graduate.


I'm Speechless

For the first time in my life I am proud of my country.

Thank you, America, for making the right choice.



Kidlet decided a few months ago that she didn't have to be afraid of our spazzy cat because he's just a cat, and she's a lion. So, she practiced her roar, and when spazzy cat got too close and/or too... spazzy for her liking, she roared at him, and he ran away. 
This is kidlet, roaring:

And this is kidlet, being a lion:


The Mix Tape in the Carseat

A sampling of the songs that Kidlet knows enough of the words to sing along to:

KT Tunstall: Suddenly I See
John Mayer: Say
Pink: So What
Indigo Girls: Pendulum Swinger
Indigo Girls: Shame on You
John Denver: Rocky Mountain High
Lori McKenna: Drinkin' Problem
Lori McKenna: Unglamorous
Lori McKenna: Fireflies
Lori McKenna: Witness to Your Life
Five for Fighting: The Riddle
Jason Mraz: Life is Wonderful
Jason Mraz: Wordplay
Dierks Bentley: How're You Doin'?

It's a very interesting mix, mostly due to the fact that LT and I have very divergent musical taste. It is, however, both hysterical and distressing to hear one's 3 year old belt out "I think I've got a drinkin' problem" from the back seat.


As I Sit Shivering...

It is a beautiful, crisp fall day (my favorite kind!).
It's cool enough that I wore my new cashmere coat (and I may never take it off again).
I am currently wearing pants a size smaller than I wore when I was 14.
I have found a facial cleanser and toner (I love you, Bliss!) that makes my face all soft and dewy and even-textured (were it not for my naturally pasty skintone, I would forego the foundation altogether).
Kidlet woke up without a fight, got washed up and dressed without a fight, let me do her hair (pigtails!) without a fight, put her coat and shoes on without a fight, and kissed me bye when I dropped her off at school without a fight.
I do not have to go to Omaha next month.
Barack Obama will be the President-elect in 17 days.
I found a Wii console and Wii Fit in stock and it will be on my back doorstep by Thursday (that last 25 pounds I have to lose will be HISTORY by Christmas!).

I should be happy.
I am not.
I am, in fact, one eyeblink away from becoming Very Unprofessional.

The Menopause Twins have hijacked the thermostat, and I am freezing (literally shivering, with my cashmere coat on, looking utterly foolish, typing with frozen fingers).
My boy-crush is in the office today, visiting from his home base in Bermuda. He said hello (remembered my name!) and in response, I turned crimson and spilled my coffee (am so cool...).
I want to kill my staff. All 2 of them (the third is in China... she hasn't managed to piss me off from halfway around the world yet). Their collective inability to write a coherent sentence, follow simple instructions and/or form an independent thought is completely baffling. I am also amazed by their complete and total lack of problem-solving skills. How did these women get to be nurses!? How did they not KILL every last patient they were responsible for!?
LT is being, excuse my French, a complete and utter asshole. As evidenced by the following: I asked her, approximately 50 times, if she likes my new hair color. Her response, all 50 times, "It's okay". When asked the same question by someone else, in front of our entire collective family, her response: "I hate it. I wish she had left it alone." When asked, the same night, by a different person, what she thinks of my tremendous weight loss and how different I look, her response: "I guess she's happy about it." I can boil her entire attitude down thusly: LT is unhappy that I weigh less than her, that my clothing size is smaller than hers, and that she is the only compulsive over-eater in the house. She is jealous of what I have accomplished in the last 10 months (weight loss aside- great job, going back to school, etc...), and feels inadequate by comparison. She can go fuck herself.
Boss Lady took a personal day today. The resultant slacking off (by myself as well) will only mean much yelling to occur tomorrow when she comes back.
I'm tired this morning. I stayed up too late watching Dexter and True Blood. Have officially replaced food addiction with TV addiction.

I'm going to get some more coffee. Will try not to spill it this time.


I'm Not Whining, But...

At 2:15pm on this date 16 years ago, at the age of 18 and a freshman in college, I had an abortion. Although I am stridently pro-choice, it was not MY choice to end my pregnancy. I was threatened and forced into it.

At 3:15am today, my junkie cousin's 16 year-old junkie daughter gave birth to the baby she and some unknown fellow junkie conceived while they were in rehab. My aunt is a great-grandmother at the age of 58.

Isn't that nice?


Life: It's What Happens in Between Blog Posts

Hi! Is anyone out there still reading? Show of hands...

Oh. Um, okay. Whatever. I'll just continue to blither for my own gratification then...

It's been kind of a mixed bag around Suburban Lesbian world. LT is back to working every other weekend again, which would completely suck, except that she's still technically on per diem status, which means she's being paid a ridiculous amount of money to take care of crazy old people. So... I will suffer without her every other weekend if necessary.

My new friend Michael Kors will keep me company...

(I love my new bag!!)
We managed to secure a weekend off 2 weeks ago, and had planned to g visit my BFF in New Hampshire, but Betsy was sick and had to cancel at the last minute (like, the car was packed and I was in the process of buckling Kidlet into her carseat last minute...). So, we changed plans and drove to the White Mountains instead. It was rainy and foggy and most of the foliage was obscured, but what we could see was nearly at peak and really quite spectacular. I grew up near the White Mountains, and although I hated every minute of my childhood there and couldn't wait to escape, I can acknowledge that it is a visually beautiful place to be. We spent Sunday at Storyland, and Kidlet was out. of. her. mind! with the Awesomeness of it all. She rode every single ride and screamed with delight (as opposed to abject terror, which is what we all expected...). Unfortunately, I'm posting from work, so no photographic evidence at the moment... sorry.
This Sunday we engaged in the annual Family Apple Picking Outing. My parents started taking me to Gould Hill orchard to pick apples when I was a little kid, and now it's become and annual tradition that includes LT's folks. The weather was much sunnier and about 10 degrees warmer in southern NH than it was in suburban Boston, so it was a good plan. Unfortunately, I have been suffering from some GI unpleasantness for the past week or so, and was given strict orders for a clear liquid diet through yesterday, so no apples for me. Everyone says they are very tasty. I'll just have to wait until next weekend to find out for myself. Lots of photos were taken on top of the hill, and I am a lovely shade of green in each one.
I finally just bit the bullet and made the decision to just go back to school. I start online classes 10/14 for a business degree. It will take me about a year and a half to finish, and then I can apply to law school. Law school has been my plan all along, but I got a little sidetracked in my 20s and decided to go to nursing school so I could actually earn a living while going to school part time. Then, along came LT, then mortgage and wedding and kid and... well, life. So, with the blessing and financial backin of my employer, I'm back to school.
If I'm going to be a real student, I'll need a new backpack... Does Michael Kors make bookbags?