1. Falling asleep on the couch after unsuccessfully trying to stay up long enough to watch the end of Top Chef.
2. Waking up to an infomercial for that flashlight that sprays pepper spray (I thought I was dreaming...).
3. Stumbling upstairs to fall asleep in bed and realizing that it's time to get up. And also: LT's rude method of waking/keeping me awake (I won't divulge the details, but trust me when I say it is RUDE!).
4. The only clean bra I could find this morning is the black lacy push-up one with the pokey underwires.
5. The line at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru in the morning.
6. Boss calling in sick and leaving me to cover the meeting at which Boss was supposed to deliver the bad news to the assaultive, profoundly mentally retarded, "medically complex" (the understatement of the century, BTW), behavioral nightmare that was referred to our agency for day services. No. We can not handle you even on your good days when you only have 10-12 seizures and are only self-injurious and only try to elope a few times. So sorry.
7. It is not yet Friday? How can that be?
8. Kidlet has outgrown every pair of shorts she owns. It's only July! Damn her cute little snackable thunder thighs!
9. INR is 8.2 this week. After being therapeutic for 18 months on the same Coumadin dose? I don't think so. Can we say "lab error"?
10. Grocery day: Tuesday. LT informing me that we need to bring something to Saturday's BBQ: Wednesday. Will kill LT: tonight.
11. Stupid people doing stupid things at stupid times that interfere with my life/schedule/happiness/ability to drink my fucking coffee in PEACE!
12. Stupid weather. Stupid lying stupid weather man. Stupid humidity.
13. Leaving my lunch on the kitchen counter. Again.
14. Forgetting to give my eye Dr. my new address two years ago (note: LT and I bought our house almost 5 years ago). Getting a collection notice 3 weeks ago. Calling office to apologize profusely and promise to mail a check that very day. Mailing check. Having check returned to me by the post office 2 weeks later because the Dr. has a new address and the US postal service doesn't know what it is!
15. Someone keeps stealing my pens. And my Post-It notes.
16. This post.