An Open Letter

To everyone else who starts their day with a fine Dunkin Donuts beverage and drives through the same DD as myself (you know who you are):

1. Pull your car up behind the one in front of you. Do not leave a car-length (or more) of space between you and the car in front. If you checked your rear-view mirror once in a while, you'd see the line of people behind you are blocking traffic and can't even get into the line because you're too worried about the paint job on your preshus Lexus.

2. While I'm on the subject... if you are unable to pull all the way into the line because of the douchbag in front of you, at least pull over to the side so that people can get around you to exit the parking lot.

3. When the line is such that you are forced to wait to pull into the drive-up lane, do not cut in front of me. It is obvious that I was here first. My gas-hogging SUV is way bigger than your midlife-crisis penis substitute, and I WILL CRUSH YOU!

4(A). A special aside to the non-English speaking person on the other end of the speaker: Please stop making me repeat my order 6 times. It makes me mad. Especially when it still ends up wrong.
4(B). However, despite the fact that you have angered me before I've had my coffee (duh), I still manage to smile at you and say good morning. Would it kill you to crack a smile and maybe return the greeting (in your native language, even, if necessary)? Being deaf and/or non-English speaking and possibly just slightly dim-witted doesn't make you a bad person. Being rude does.

Thank you for your attention.
Sincerely yours-

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